When the time comes to place a loved one in a nursing or retirement home, it’s easy to be anxious about making the right choice.

For example, depending on where we live, the number of residential options available to families may be limited. This lack of choice can make us reluctant to ask about the level of care that residents receive, and what we can do if we have concerns about treatment or living conditions.

As consumers, we frequently research products and don’t think twice about asking lots of questions before making a major purchase. Choosing the place for your loved one to live is the perfect reason to be a well-informed researcher and decision-maker.

Here are some suggestions for anyone about to place a senior family member in a nursing or retirement facility:

• First, be sure to tour the facilities
• Ask how much furniture and how many personal items (such as a TV) residents are allowed to bring with them
• Find out how much input you will have in terms of decision making
• Can family members attend the facilities’ internal planning meetings?
• What happens if our family has differences of opinion with staff or management?
• Is there an ombud, social worker or other individual we can approach if we have questions or concerns?
• What are their policies and procedures for dealing with “difficult” patients?
• How much involvement do residents have in decision making?

By raising these concerns at the beginning, we can establish a vital line of communication with the staff now that can be useful later on.

No matter how well prepared we are, being assertive about our needs and those of our family member can be intimidating. It’s important to know that trained, professional mediators are available to help you prepare for these conversations with nursing or retirement home management.

In some circumstances, these elder mediators might even be able to attend these meetings with you. (Be sure to ask the institution in question what their policies are in this regard.)

Either way, a trained elder mediator can help you navigate the complex world of senior care-giving and residency.

Hiring an elder mediator might seem like an unnecessary expense, but in fact, it can be a wise short term investment. By knowing what to ask, what community resources are available, and what “red flags” to watch for, a mediator can help you nip any problems in the bud and reduce your current and future stress levels.

(Note: Canada’s first Elder Meditation Training Program is being held in Toronto on March 4-5 and again on April 7-8. CLICK HERE for more details about this vital new credential for professional counselors and facilitators.)